Even though sociopaths do not feel and show sincere social emotions, there are still some people who end up marrying individuals with this disorder. They consistently lie, prove to be irresponsible and have no conscience for their actions. “Some people seem to have no regard for others and can cause harm to them without any regret or feelings of guilt. When this behavior is pervasive, a person may have a chronic mental health condition known as antisocial personality disorder,” said Kathleen Smith, PhD, LPC. Having a sociopath partner, more often than not, is discovered later in the relationship. Stephen Snyder, MD says that “People with sociopathic tendencies are accustomed to lying, so it’s not as hard for them to fake feelings. Some sociopaths are skilled at pretending they’re wounded and hurt.”
Tall, Handsome, And…A Sociopath
Mel Carnegie shares her story about her marriage with Cameron, her husband whom she discovered to be a sociopath after marriage. They met at a weeklong team-building course. Mel was 32 years old then, and Cameron was three years younger. She describes him as someone from the movies – tall, handsome, and a sports car.
Cameron eventually moved in with Mel and her son in their apartment. She thought their life together was perfect since he accepted her son, even going on walks along the beach during weekends. Cameron liked giving Mel gifts like flowers, and CDs containing love songs.
A year after they met, Cameron and Mel tied the knot. Cameron gave Mel a note saying “Thank you so much for choosing me as your husband,” – a gesture Mel considered sweet and thoughtful at the time.
They set up a management consultancy company. Their business boomed, and the couple even had to separate their workplaces to accommodate clients. After spending a holiday together, Mel felt that something was off. When she asked her husband, Cameron replied, “I just don’t feel the same way about you.”
Mel checked Cameron’s e-mail, and found out that he has been living with another woman whenever he was away “on his business trips.” When she confronted Cameron about his affair and asked if he had something to say, he bluntly answered “No.”
Cameron was able to persuade Mel to get back together, to the extent of migrating to France to start “a new life” together. It was here that Cameron fooled around once more, and Mel was not having any more of it. Cameron was on a skiing trip when Mel found out about it. He never returned home after.
From Foreigner To Green Card Holder
Marco and Jane met while working at a restaurant in Queens. She was 25, and he was 32. He was an Argentinian immigrant, staying illegally in the country for his 7-year old son, Seb.
She described him as having intense, deep, and dark eyes. He looked at her like no one ever had. She fell for his sweet words, which made her feel adored and precious. “You know, I hadn’t allowed myself to be hopeful about ever being happy again until I met you,” he said on the night of their first kiss.
After getting married, they started a business with another couple to open a gastropub in Queens. Jane invested her savings, which was around $ 75,000, and her parents put in additional $ 25,000 to start the business Marco dreamt of. After a few months, Marco pulled out from their business and took on a new job as a restaurant manager in Manhattan.
Weeks after giving birth, Jane found a suspicious e-mail. The subject read “Appointment,” and it said about getting an apartment with his girlfriend. At first, Jane thought the girlfriend said in his e-mail was about her, but she soon found out that the girlfriend he was talking about was someone named “Viktorja.”
When Jane confronted him, Marco denied her allegation of his cheating. He first said that he was just helping him find an apartment. Later on, Marco reiterated that he loves her, and would never cheat on her. When he arrived home, Marco said that he was feeling unhappy for a year now and that he lost his feelings.
After following Marco to his workplace, Jane confirmed that he was indeed physically and emotionally cheating on her with Viktorja.
Learn From Experience
From both true-to-life accounts, specific behavioral patterns can be observed from the sociopath partners. It may seem that your sociopath partner is your prince charming, but you should be more critical and careful in choosing your life partner. Sociopaths, according to Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT, “May be harder to spot. They both can be charismatic, intelligent, charming, and successful, as well as unreliable, controlling, selfish, disingenuous, and dishonest.” The women in the stories went through suffering and low self-esteem, but always remember that there is still hope to get back stronger and smarter.