Counselor Talks: How NOT To Be Conned By A Sociopath


I had been told many times that love moves in mysterious ways. It will just hit you without warning when it comes to you, and then you will have nothing to do but go with the flow. Because of that, when love knocked on my door, I let it in and even give it access to my money. And you know what happened in the end? It almost left me financially broke, considering the man I loved happened to be a sociopathic con artist.

Let Me Rewind

Ever since moving to the United States from the UK for work, I went to different bars and clubs every weekend with my friends. I had not always been a party gal, but I missed my parents back home, so I wanted to be in the company of fun people for as long as I could.

During one of those nights, I met Paul. He was a handsome 30-year-old real estate agent who told me that he experienced love at first sight with me as soon as our eyes met.

Allow me to tell you that I would not usually fall for such a pickup line in the past. I was not born yesterday; I knew that many men in bars tended to say things like that to bed various women. But I did not know what it was with Paul that made me believe him. It was like his charisma, and sweet words sucker-punched me, and there was nothing I could do about it.


The thing with Paul was that he told me that he had an excellent job in the real estate business in this city on our first date. Then, on our third date, Paul informed me that he got fired because of a manipulative tactic that one of his coworkers pulled. He was the sole competitor for top sales of that person, and he decided he no longer wanted competition.

Paul looked so worried and sad that night because he was the breadwinner in his family. I had not met them to confirm that, but I felt so bad for the man. When I told him I could pay his car mortgage that month, I saw tears brimming in his eyes. In that instant, I felt the need to take care of him and love him.

A couple of weeks later, we were on a date again when Paul mentioned the eviction notice that he received from his landlord. For a supposedly top real estate agent, Paul found it highly challenging to find another job. Still, I did not question that at the time and even offered to cover his rent. I would have asked Paul to live with me if I was not sharing an apartment with my three friends.

Cover-ups And Lies

Paul and I had been officially dating for six months already, and he was still jobless. My friends were beginning to frown about that, especially when they found out that I was practically supporting him financially. One of them said, “You are too young and cute to be a sugar momma, Jada.”


However, I paid my friends no mind and continued to support Paul. He said that his savings were only enough to give to his family, so I was more than willing to provide for his needs. Again, I still hadn’t met any of his relatives, but I had zero doubts about him.

I was a little guilty of covering up the situation whenever I talked to my parents, though. If they learned about the setup in my new relationship, they would want me to end it stat. I wanted them to like Paul, so I lied to them about him having a stable job and whatnot.

When I Woke Up From My Craziness

I was shopping with Paul on a Saturday when a stranger – a woman – came up to us and slapped him across the face. Hard. Her action surprised me so much that I did not get to speak or push the woman away. But when she started yelling and making a scene, I pulled both of them to the parking lot to settle the matter.

Why did I not call the police, you might ask? This stranger seemed decent, educated, and classy. She did not seem the type of person to initiate a brawl in a busy mall if she had no reason to do so. Hence, I chose to confront her – and Paul – away from the curious bystanders.


Once we reached my car, Paul started yelling at the woman. That behavior surprised me more, especially when he tried to slap her. I pushed him to the side and asked the woman why she did what she did. Her reply was, “This sociopath got me pregnant and then left when my daughter was born. Worse, he took most of my money with him.”

“Don’t believe her, Jada! She’s lying!” Paul exclaimed as she tried to reach for the woman again.

But I did not let it happen. I used my little know-how in boxing and gave my boyfriend an uppercut, which rendered him unconscious. My gut feeling told me that the woman was telling the truth, so I had to put Paul in his place. That’s when I finally called the police and had him persecuted for conning the other woman and me.

Moral Lesson: To avoid getting conned by a sociopath, please do not let the first person you like entirely in your life without getting to know them better. Shame on me; I allowed my heart to rule over my mind. But that should not be the case for you.