Not everyone who’s charming and affable is a sociopath. However, if you notice that you’re being messed with, gas-lighted, and manipulated by your exceedingly alluring special someone, it is most likely that you are the victim of his or her sociopathic mind games.
By recognizing how a sociopath thinks and works, it is easier for you to identify the games that they love to play within a relationship.
The Face Of A Sociopath
Though certain qualities are similar to psychopaths, sociopaths are less polished and less savvy making it apparent for other people to identify if they’re dealing with one. By letting you experience the proverbial ringer, sociopaths are adept at manipulating people around them that even the way you dress can be influenced.
To get their way in a relationship, sociopaths tend to do mind games. What are the usual signs that you need to watch out for so as not to get sucked into an unhealthy relationship that can ruin you as a person?
- You Are Always To Blame
Despite the reality that you did nothing wrong, you still get blamed for every single wrong thing that happened in your relationship. For example, even if your partner made a mistake, he or she will turn things around by saying that it’s initially your fault for overreacting or for not being understanding of the situation. Sociopaths tend to innocently demonize their targets by characterizing them as the inadvertent instigator of creating discord in dynamics.
- You Become The Crazy One
Whenever you air out something to your partner, are you often told that you’re too paranoid or you’re just being crazy for thinking as such? If in every argument you are always on the losing side, this is a sign that your sociopath partner is gas-lighting which is a typical tactic that a lot of sociopaths utilize on their victims. Gaslighting happens when a person uses your words against you to the point of endlessly defending yourself for saying those things. Sociopaths are aiming to invalidate you which results in you questioning your rational thinking and sanity.
- Sincerity Is Too Good To Be True
One of the captivating yet tricky things about sociopaths is their ability to appear sincere even if their words are mostly built on lies. Their capacity to create stories convincingly is due to their sophisticated approach that can turn into manipulation. For sociopaths, love is merely a game of seduction and lying. Over time, if you ever caught them red-handed, sociopaths will never show any signs of remorse because their moral compass is askew. “Those who are sociopathic,” said Jor-El Caraballo, LMHC “Most often characterized by low empathy and a general “pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others.”
- Your Head’s A Mess
Sociopaths love to mess with people’s minds; they may hurt you and cause you insurmountable amounts of pain for the sake of enjoyment and the thought that you will be turning to him or her for comfort. For example, your partner might provoke or convince you into speaking up to your friend and be direct about a particular issue. But then your friend becomes offended, and your partner will be there waiting to act sympathetic when in fact, your partner is just playing with your feelings and manipulating you by thinking how awful that friend was for not understanding. That’s how sneaky sociopaths are.
- Flattery Is Their Weapon
Endless flattery is a technique sociopaths use to win you over; this usually happens by uttering compliments now and then. However, these flattering remarks would feel a bit off because they are more likely to come out as completely and utterly fake. When the flattery is way over the top, know that your partner’s sociopathic mind is in play. Compliments can brighten anyone’s day but if it’s too much to the point of being unbelievable, start being suspicious. According to Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC in her online article titled ‘Do You Work with a Sociopath?’ sociopaths “Choose to intermingle, they present as charming, intelligent, balanced, sexy, and yet seemingly harmless. But this is a front.”
Know When You’re Losing
Through the use of manipulation and charm that sociopaths have perfected, they can quickly get away with what they want. For people who are unaware that sociopaths exist, they will first feel charmed, but as the relationship progresses, they’ll have this foreboding, scary, or confused feeling that they are being sabotaged into something they initially thought was a show of affection.
Sociopaths love the power play. There is always this effort of wanting to control you to the point of dishing out a couple of threats like suicide. But these are usually empty threats and are merely a way to make you agree with what your partner says. Don’t let your sociopath partner get the best of you. As much as possible, if you ever experienced the signs listed above, leave and don’t look back. It’s the best way to save yourself from being ruined entirely. As Noah Rubinstein, LMFT, LMHC, said “it’s clear that sociopaths are quite capable of evil.”