Counselor Talks: How NOT To Be Conned By A Sociopath

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I had been told many times that love moves in mysterious ways. It will just hit you without warning when it comes to you, and then you will have nothing to do but go with the flow. Because of that, when love knocked on my door, I let it in and even give it access to my money. And you know what happened in the end? It almost left me financially broke, considering the man I loved happened to be a sociopathic con artist.

Let Me Rewind

Ever since moving to the United States from the UK for work, I went to different bars and clubs every weekend with my friends. I had not always been a party gal, but I missed my parents back home, so I wanted to be in the company of fun people for as long as I could.

During one of those nights, I met Paul. He was a handsome 30-year-old real estate agent who told me that he experienced love at first sight with me as soon as our eyes met.

Allow me to tell you that I would not usually fall for such a pickup line in the past. I was not born yesterday; I knew that many men in bars tended to say things like that to bed various women. But I did not know what it was with Paul that made me believe him. It was like his charisma, and sweet words sucker-punched me, and there was nothing I could do about it.

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The thing with Paul was that he told me that he had an excellent job in the real estate business in this city on our first date. Then, on our third date, Paul informed me that he got fired because of a manipulative tactic that one of his coworkers pulled. He was the sole competitor for top sales of that person, and he decided he no longer wanted competition.

Paul looked so worried and sad that night because he was the breadwinner in his family. I had not met them to confirm that, but I felt so bad for the man. When I told him I could pay his car mortgage that month, I saw tears brimming in his eyes. In that instant, I felt the need to take care of him and love him.

A couple of weeks later, we were on a date again when Paul mentioned the eviction notice that he received from his landlord. For a supposedly top real estate agent, Paul found it highly challenging to find another job. Still, I did not question that at the time and even offered to cover his rent. I would have asked Paul to live with me if I was not sharing an apartment with my three friends.

Cover-ups And Lies

Paul and I had been officially dating for six months already, and he was still jobless. My friends were beginning to frown about that, especially when they found out that I was practically supporting him financially. One of them said, “You are too young and cute to be a sugar momma, Jada.”

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However, I paid my friends no mind and continued to support Paul. He said that his savings were only enough to give to his family, so I was more than willing to provide for his needs. Again, I still hadn’t met any of his relatives, but I had zero doubts about him.

I was a little guilty of covering up the situation whenever I talked to my parents, though. If they learned about the setup in my new relationship, they would want me to end it stat. I wanted them to like Paul, so I lied to them about him having a stable job and whatnot.

When I Woke Up From My Craziness

I was shopping with Paul on a Saturday when a stranger – a woman – came up to us and slapped him across the face. Hard. Her action surprised me so much that I did not get to speak or push the woman away. But when she started yelling and making a scene, I pulled both of them to the parking lot to settle the matter.

Why did I not call the police, you might ask? This stranger seemed decent, educated, and classy. She did not seem the type of person to initiate a brawl in a busy mall if she had no reason to do so. Hence, I chose to confront her – and Paul – away from the curious bystanders.

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Once we reached my car, Paul started yelling at the woman. That behavior surprised me more, especially when he tried to slap her. I pushed him to the side and asked the woman why she did what she did. Her reply was, “This sociopath got me pregnant and then left when my daughter was born. Worse, he took most of my money with him.”

“Don’t believe her, Jada! She’s lying!” Paul exclaimed as she tried to reach for the woman again.

But I did not let it happen. I used my little know-how in boxing and gave my boyfriend an uppercut, which rendered him unconscious. My gut feeling told me that the woman was telling the truth, so I had to put Paul in his place. That’s when I finally called the police and had him persecuted for conning the other woman and me.

Moral Lesson: To avoid getting conned by a sociopath, please do not let the first person you like entirely in your life without getting to know them better. Shame on me; I allowed my heart to rule over my mind. But that should not be the case for you.

Counseling 101: Seeing A Possible Sociopath On TV

I was already in the middle of my beauty rest when I heard my boyfriend laughing out loud beside me. Jay was never inconsiderate like that because he knew that I was tired from counseling people every day, so I turned to look at what he found funny. I saw him focused on his phone with a hand over his mouth, still trying to control his laughter.

“What’s got you giggling there, babe?” I asked.

“Big Ed.”

“Who is that?” I asked.

“Well, it was this guy who stars in the reality TV show called 90-Day Fiancé. This is already his second rodeo on the show, but he still cannot keep his girl,” Jay explained.

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“Is that what’s funny?”

“Oh, no,” he uttered, still laughing. “I was just watching his latest interview on the show, and this elderly woman put him in his place.”

Watching The Show

Since my sleepiness was already gone, I asked my boyfriend to show me what he was talking about. True enough, it was an interview with the cast members of the 90-Day Fiancé. The title of the show was pretty self-explanatory. It chronicled the lives of men and women trying to find their soulmates in and out of the United States and get engaged with them within 90 days. From what I gathered in the first five minutes of watching, many of them have found success and were living together with their partners. Except for Big Ed, that is.

When the cast members asked Ed where her latest girlfriend was, he began to tear up as he mentioned that they broke up after a few months of dating. As a counselor, I was trained not to be judgmental, but I would know a fake cry once I saw one. That’s what Big Ed was doing, which made the show more interesting.

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The scene then cuts to where the ex-girlfriend finally arrived. Again, Big Ed got the fake waterworks going. However, it stopped when the ex showed real tears and talked about how he ghosted her just when she learned to love him, even if Ed rushed everything into their relationship. Then, she found out that he went to Las Vegas and partied with some prostitutes.

Though the woman’s revelations made Ed earn some boos and sassy remarks from the other cast members, that only took him back slightly. Soon enough, he was running his mouth again and giving every possible excuse under the sun. It was evident that his initial love for her was fake, but who would admit that? Not Big Ed, for sure.

The Show Just Got More Interesting

“What kind of a man is this?” I asked my boyfriend about Ed.

“That’s a man who talks big but gets his mother to slather mayo all over him and whose feet would not even touch the floor during the interview,” he replied, chuckling. “Keep watching, babe; we have not even gotten to the funniest part yet.”

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Before I could even ask what my boyfriend meant, I heard the host announce that one of the guys’ mothers would join the show. As it turned out, both the guy and his new girlfriend lived under the same roof as his mother. As soon as the mother sat down, Big Ed turned to the guy and began talking about how he should leave the nest and get a place of his own.

My boyfriend commented that it was a big talk coming from Big Ed, considering he was also living with his mother. The older woman did not pay attention to him initially, but when Ed did not stop attacking her son, she yelled at him to shut up, shocking everyone. Did that make Ed quiet, though? No. Hence, the older woman practically criticized him on TV that he should go after women his age instead of young women like his current ex. It then turned into a word volley between the two before the other guy could step in and move on to another topic.

Reeling In

What’s hilarious about that conversation I watched was that Big Ed barely acknowledged the older woman’s accusations against him. He merely kept talking about his opinion as to if that’s the only thing that mattered.

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My mental health training taught me that Big Ed showed some signs of sociopathy. I could be wrong, of course – I would need to meet and examine him further to make sure of that – but I noticed that he could be a sociopath. After all, Ed was unapologetic and seemed to have manipulated his ex into doing what he wanted before leaving her once she’s hooked.

I am not sure if mental health will ever be tackled in-depth on that show in the future, but if you want to see what I am talking about, please feel free to watch 90-Day Fiancé one of these days.

On Dating Someone With Bipolar Disorder: Frequently Asked Questions

 

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The mood swings related to bipolar disorder can lead to severe behavioral changes. During manic-depressive episodes, an individual with bipolar disorder can possess a strange amount of energy and might not be able to sleep. When having depressive attacks, an individual with bipolar disorder can seem exhausted and quite down. He may want to stay indoors and do nothing else.

These major swings in mood could make socializing and communicating difficult. The symptoms of bipolar disorder can be dealt with medication and therapy, but they could most probably take a toll on family, friends, and other relationships, specifically romantic ones.

If you have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, you might already be aware of your condition’s effect on your romantic relationships. You may feel anxious about starting a new one and looking for the appropriate time to inform your partner that you have a mental health condition.

These issues can be easily understood, but it is vital to remember that it is possible to create a healthy intimate relationship. For the best opportunity of success in achieving a healthy relationship, you have to be able to communicate freely and follow an efficient treatment plan.

What To Do

  • Learn more about your condition. This is the initial step that you must do when you start a relationship with a person who is diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Read more about it to have a clearer understanding of what your partner is going through – and what you’re about to deal with as well.
  • Be patient. It can be infuriating if your partner’s mood swings prevent you from having nice and happy dating plans. When times are troubled, breathe deeply and keep in mind that it is the illness – not your loved one – that’s causing your sadness. Spend some alone time if you need to, away from your loved one.
  • Ask your partner about his experiences. Ask him how he behaves during his mood swing and what they do to deal with these swings. It is also important to ask them what you could do, if there is any, to help him when these episodes happen.
  • Support his/her care. Your loved one’s best chance for dealing with his illness depends on whether or not he follows his treatment plan appropriately. You can show him your support and encouragement by helping him continue his treatments that the doctor recommended.
  • Aim for open communication. You and your partner must communicate openly with each other. Express your feelings towards the situation, and encourage him to express how he feels as well. Always remember not to blame him for his illness.

 

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Below are some answers to frequently asked questions about depression and bipolar disorder, among others.

 

What does it mean to be high functioning?

Being high functioning implies that a person is disabled and has a chronic illness or a mental health problem. He functions physically or mentally at a higher level than the others with the same illness; for example, a 9-year-old boy with autism or a high functioning alcoholic.

What is the most reliable symptom of depression?

Indications of clinical depression include hopelessness, tearfulness, irritability, angry outbursts, lack of pleasure or interest in previously loved activities, and feelings of sadness.

What are the 4 major causes of depression?

Experts agree that depression does not originate from merely having too little or too many brain chemicals. Instead, it arises from many potential causes, including genetic predisposition, medications, incorrect mood regulation by the nervous system, existing medical conditions, and stressful life situations.

What does high functioning bipolar look like?

‘High-functioning,’ when talking about bipolar disorder, does not refer to the level of the disorder itself, but instead the individual’s capacity to manage it. This means that the individual may have acute symptoms but can mask them and perform their daily tasks.

Can you hide being bipolar?

Can a person have a masked or hidden bipolar disorder without other people knowing? The unexpected fact is that occasionally, individuals with the disorder can do a great job in concealing or minimizing specific symptoms of their illness.

How does a person with bipolar think?

In the manic stage of bipolar disorder, it is typical to have increased energy, euphoria, and creativity. If you are experiencing bouts of mania, you may be deprived of sleep, talk for a mile per minute, or become hyperactive. You may also be feeling like you are invincible, intended to be great, or that you are all-powerful.

Does being bipolar mean you are crazy?

Bipolar disorder is a mental health condition marked by severe mood alterations from high to low and high. The highs are moments of mania, while the lows are moments of depression. The mood alterations even get mixed up, so you may feel depressed and excited at the same. Bipolar disorder is actually not a rare condition, but it does not mean that someone with the disorder is crazy or insane.

Does a bipolar person know they are bipolar?

No, not all who suffer from bipolar disorder know that they have it. There are many reasons why a person with the condition may not be aware of it – why he might not admit having it despite the fact that they do.

What is a bipolar rage?

Bipolar rage or anger is extreme, explosive, erratic, and impulsive. A person experiencing bipolar rage may be asked a basic question, and he responds with illogical anger and/or agitation. He lashes out for no valid reason on people who care for him.

What should you not say to someone with bipolar?

Here are some phrases that you must not say to someone who has bipolar disorder:

  • “Really? But you’re too smart to suffer from bipolar disorder!”
  • “Why do you sound so down today?”
  • “But I thought you were regularly taking medications for that?”
  • “Will you please stop acting crazy?”
  • “You’ve become so lazy, and you do not have a life anymore.”
  • “We both know he has bipolar, right?”

What is a psychotic break?

Usually, a psychotic break signifies the emergence of psychotic symptoms for someone or the abrupt onset of psychotic indications after a stage of remission. Indications may include visual and auditory hallucinations, delusional views and ideas, and paranoia.

What does burnout feel like?

Individuals who suffer from burnout naturally feel burnt out, defenseless, and empty. As his performance deteriorates, fear of failure and emotional fatigue further increase. Those affected by it feel totally overwhelmed and engulfed in a gamut of expectations from others. They are unable to meet their own expectations of themselves as well.

Is a bipolar person capable of love?

When someone is bipolar, his romantic relationships are affected as well. People who suffer from it experience extreme low and high moods. They experience depressive and manic episodes. But with the appropriate treatment plan, a lot of these individuals can maintain healthy romantic relationships.

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Following the steps mentioned above can definitely benefit your relationships. However, bipolar disorder may often still cause some strains in the relationship despite both of you trying your best to keep it work. Don’t worry – this is not uncommon at all. Remember that whether or not you have bipolar disorder or have a relationship with someone diagnosed with the illness, it is possible to start and keep a healthy and rewarding relationship. The keys to success? Open communication is first on the list, then ensuring that the individual with bipolar disorder keeps track and follows his treatment plan, and finally gets appropriate support when necessary.

 

 

Mental Health 101: My Sister Might Be A Sociopath

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The peace in our family was disturbed when my middle sister called me one afternoon. Crying, she told me that a guy named Mark was about to get married. I only knew him as her suitor that she never entertained because he was already living with his original girlfriend. So, when I asked my sister, “So what?” I got the shock of my life as she said, “I might be pregnant with him.”

Just what did I hear?! My sister, who we trusted to know not to entertain such a man, was doing what we begged her not to do. Worse, their affair had been going on for four years straight already, and they had been trying to have a baby in the last six months. But she would never have bothered to tell us about it if the guy did not block her calls and texts and left her alone.

In reality, when I heard what happened for the first time, I got so mad at the guy that I wanted to curse him down to hell. My sister made it sound like she got cheated on, that she was not aware that he was a two-timing fool. Even my dad wanted to let loose and confront the guy with his fists for what he did to his daughter. However, my sister begged him not to do that. Instead, she said she wanted to get mental help because it left her thinking of ending her life.

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Of course, when your child tells you something like that, you have no time to think things through – you just do it. I even went out to accompany my sister to the mental hospital where the only psychiatrist could be found in our state. Upon the initial diagnosis, it was revealed that she had dependence issues. I thought it made sense because she felt like she couldn’t live without that guy in her life. 

But I started to get suspicious when my sister said she argued with the doctor and tried to reduce her resting period from two months to a month. Then, during her multiple trips to the psychiatrist’s office after that, she kept on asking the mental health professional to change her diagnosis from depression to mild anxiety to minor depression. It did not help that we caught her trying to chat up the same guy even after discovering that he already got hitched. I thought, “Hmm, that’s not normal anymore.”

The more I researched her symptoms, the more it became apparent that my sister might be a sociopath. Here are signs that led me to this hunch.

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Ability To Change Emotions Based On What Others Want To See

The most noticeable thing about my sister was how quickly she could switch her emotions depending on who talked to her. 

For example, when my father found the guy’s number still saved on her phone, he started berating her because of it for hours. The entire time, my sister was not answering him; she was merely looking down with a dark expression on her face. But when my aunt suddenly called through FaceTime, her face lit up and sounded so cheerful, as if nothing ever happened.

The same scenario took place several times throughout her stay at home, thus solidifying my hunch that my sister might be a sociopath.

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Compulsive Lying 

It took some time for us to realize that my sister was a compulsive liar. My parents primarily used to believe every word she said, thinking that she was dependable and wise. Despite that, we all found out about it when we confronted her about the text messages that we caught her exchanging with the guy. 

With the phone in mom’s hands, she asked, “Have you been texting your ex?”

Feigning anger, my sister replied, “What the heck are you talking about? It’s over between us; he’s already married.”

“Liar! Your conversations are all here!” my mother said, showing the phone.

Although shocked, my sister still uttered, “He texted me first.”

And the list of lies went on until the guy contacted my parents himself and begged them to make my sister stop bothering him and his wife.

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Inability To Listen To Reason

When crap finally hit the fan, all the texts came out. It showed how my sister resented my parents for forbidding her from seeing the man of her dreams. Then, they even had plans to move to Australia, where the guy’s wife could not reach them anymore.

When dad talked to the guy and learned that my sister was forcing herself on him, claiming that she would end her life if he didn’t contact her, she relayed it all to my sister. However, she didn’t seem ashamed at all. Her face merely hardened and said, “That’s not what he told me. He said he loved me and that we would have a family together.”

No matter how much we tried to make her see reason, my sister didn’t budge at all. Worse, she proceeded to email the guy behind our backs and blackmailed him with their private videos.

Final Thoughts

That was the last straw for my parents. They brought her to a psychiatrist in a different city to figure out what’s wrong with her. After some appointments, we found out that she indeed has sociopathic tendencies.

It would still take a while before we could say that my sister fully recovered, but we’re optimistic that she would eventually get there with support and guidance.

Do You Have A Psychopath In The Family?

 

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Have you heard about the term ‘psychopath’ used around before? If you did, perhaps you don’t know much about it either. People who are diagnosed to have this type of personality disorder have no regard for those in and out of their circle. When behaviors of these individuals are specifically harsh and dangerous, they are typically called psychopaths.

How would you know a psychopath, mainly if it were someone in the family who manifests with these behaviors? Below are some signs that you have to watch out for if you suspect that a family member is a psychopath and how you can manage it.

  • He often breaks the law.

Although not all psychopaths are indeed destructive, you’d still want to suspect a family member who often commits crimes or does not abide by the general laws of the city or community. Research suggests that most criminals are found to have an antisocial personality disorder. It’s not really because they cannot distinguish right from wrong. It’s because they just do not care.

  • He has extraordinary manipulation skills.

Several studies have revealed that psychopaths are great manipulators and schemers. They are known to easily change a certain situation just to make them look good. If you want to suggest family therapy, your psychopath’s family member will try his best to look normal and stable. Yes, they can do that – and very well.

 

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  • He’s very good at lying.

Your loved one might not constantly be lying, but when he does, he can be very good at stretching the truth. According to Biomed Central, individuals with psychopathic characteristics are capable of learning how to become master liars over time through constant practice. When you make up something, your brain tries so hard to cover the truth and reverse it to produce a false story. With psychopaths, their brains don’t exert much effort to do this, specifically if they frequently do it.

  • He thinks he’s high and mighty.

There’s probably a member of your family who thinks he’s above everyone. But a psychopath loved one is much more than. His sense of self is exaggerated, and his ego shows even without him speaking. His narcissism is quite visible, and he frequently talks and acts as if he has a more important purpose for living compared to others. He thinks he’s more deserving of success and power than the rest of the family and the rest of the world even. Don’t try to reprimand him for it, because he won’t budge.

  • He doesn’t respond to punishment.

Is there someone in your family who is famous for being shrewd, cruel, and out-of-control? You probably don’t want this person to be present in your family dinners or special occasions. Unfortunately, doing this will not affect at all for your psychopathic family member, as psychopaths are not very responsive to reward and punishment systems and the like. This behavior is what makes it challenging for them to shift their behavior to something more acceptable to society.

 

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  • They Suck At Maintaining Relationships.

Your psychopath loved one may be charming and may look sensible and all-knowing, but the truth is that they have no concrete and credible goals in life. Psychopaths are inclined to having exaggerated ideas about what they are and what their life should be, so they typically are not capable of performing very basic tasks. It’d be more devastating if you grew up with this family member too.

Setting Boundaries

It can be stressful to deal with a psychopath, particularly if it’s a family member that you care for. Realistically, there is no cure for a psychopath, but certainly, it does not mean that there is no help for him. Further, you must also find ways to safeguard yourself from the mental and emotional damage that your loved one can cost you.

Psychiatrists agree that setting boundaries is a smart way to protect yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally. You must learn to draw a line implying that there are things that you are not willing to do for the psychopath. Creating limitations and standing by them will help your family member realize that you want to be respected.

The Sooner, The Better

A lot of mental illnesses begin to manifest in the first years of adulthood, but some reports erratic and insensitive personalities in kids a few years old. Studies show that children who are psychopathic are more problematic to treat as the years pass because their brains are less vulnerable to changes. This is exactly why it is prudent to seek help sooner rather than later. Cases may become harder and eventually impossible to treat when they go into adulthood.

 

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Encourage Counseling Despite Resistance

There is a continuing argument about whether or not a psychopath’s behavior can ever be altered or modified. Still, a lot of mental health professionals agree that specific strategies can help. One of the techniques considered is the ‘decompression model,’ which combines positive support and feedback. This is especially beneficial for those who are willing to be treated and to change their behaviors. Sadly, not many psychopaths acknowledge that they do need help. If, however, you have persuaded your family member to go with you to a counselor or therapist, then he’s headed to the right path.

 

 

I Got Locked Down With A Sociopath

This pandemic situation caused me a lot of stress. But not because of the things I have to deal with, such as financial strain, work from home, and limited access to people, and whatnots. I am stressed because I got locked down with a sociopath. Honestly, I don’t want to sound rude, but there are red flags that indicated that I am.

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How It All Started

I met Dan at a social networking site a few months ago. I can say that our relationship was merely based on social media interaction. We spent most of the time chatting, texting, and video calling each other. It was the usual. We have gone a few dates, and everything was quite okay in person. Yes, it seems pretty reasonable to have small arguments at a time, but we somehow got over it. So when the outbreak began a few months back then, we have decided that Dan will move in with me at my apartment. At that time, I thought it was a great idea. Unfortunately, I was wrong.

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Sociopathic Behavior

Dan and I agreed that our situation must not take a toll on our relationship. Whatever happens, we must always be there for each other. We went spending time normally for a week. But after that, I noticed some behavioral changes in him. Dan began to demand things that only he can benefit from. It was as if I only exist to serve his needs. He began to ignore my feelings and often tell me to quit acting like a child because of my constant ranting and nagging. Dan started insulting me and often required me to appreciate his little efforts all the time. He condemned me for pointing out his mistakes and often lashed out about it.

I ignored all of these things because I thought his behavioral changes are merely a cause of stress from the lockdown. But then, after a few more weeks, I noticed he quickly get angry. Dan often threw tantrums at me, especially when he lacked control over the things I do. In most instances, he got mad for no reason. It felt like Dan gets angry about being bored or something. He tried to entertain himself by making me cry. He didn’t even care to say sorry despite admitting that he only did that for fun. His emotions don’t match our situation.

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As the days went on, Dan’s behavioral changes ultimately escalated into something outrageous. He began to think about sex as a purely physical exchange of pleasure in a moment. That anytime he wanted it, he must get it. I felt uncomfortable, but I wasn’t entirely sure what was happening. I tried to start a meaningful conversation so we can discuss that matter, but he got so upset that he went to our room and locked himself there for the whole day.

I was so curious about his behavior, so I tried to contact my friend Elie, a psychologist. Right from then on, she told me I was indeed living my quarantined life with a sociopath. Elie explained that Dan’s behavior matched up with a sociopathic diagnosis. At first, I was in denial, and I told Elie that perhaps it was just a coincidence. But she assured me that Dan knew what he was doing and just won’t recognize it as a mistake.

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So with all the things I learned about Dan, I came up with a decision. I asked him to leave my apartment. Surely, I don’t want him to go out there alone, especially in a pandemic time like this. But I also don’t want to lose all my remaining mental and emotional stability.

Sociopaths On Top: How To Survive Your Boss

The 2019 social events I attended with my boss were a case study in human behavior. Ever since I discovered her sociopathic tendencies, I have tried to limit my interactions with her outside of the office. However, when the situation arises, I try my best to avoid engaging in her antisocial habits.

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But first, how do you spot a sociopath boss? Sociopaths have a dangerous ability to mimic emotion and empathy to manipulate others for their benefit. They come across as charming and charismatic, using intelligence, physical attributes, or pretense to get what they want. When working with this type of boss, it’s essential to trust your instincts. Here are ten ways how you can survive.

  1. Keep Things Confidential

Not only is it an ethical practice, but it is also a necessary habit when working with sociopaths. Divulging personal information can hurt you in the long run, especially since these bosses tend to pass judgment and use that knowledge to their favor. Don’t let them know anything that they can use against you, including past relationships, onward plans, and biggest desires.

2. Record Meetings And Conversations (With Consent)

Even when the job doesn’t require you, documenting minutes of the meeting or writing discussion notes is crucial when the boss tries to change facts. Sociopaths would not take the blame for misdeeds because they would rather lie and shift responsibility if it doesn’t make them look good.

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3. Find Out What They Like

Some sociopaths display narcissistic behaviors, which others consider to be weaknesses. They talk a lot about their lives, jobs, and even relationships as if those are the only things that matter. Rather than compete for attention, indulge your boss in such conversations to learn more about them and how they think.

4. Look For Validation Elsewhere

Sometimes, employees are also guilty of indulging the narcissist boss to avoid arguments, although that can present a problem. Because they become so wrapped up in their heads and fail to put themselves in other people’s shoes, it affects work performance. It’s rare to hear the sociopath boss give a compliment because to them; they did half the job by hiring you and therefore, should take the credit.

5. Become A Work Ally

Keeping things professional with a sociopath boss will guarantee your survival. If you want to maintain some distance between you and your boss, cooperate as long as it gets the job done. Avoid falling victim to their unethical habits of spreading malicious gossip or bad-mouthing colleagues. Look for healthier relationships with co-workers outside your circle, so you don’t get absorbed in their toxic behavior.

6. Avoid 1-On-1 Scenarios

Sociopaths generally operate individually and thrive when they hold the upper hand. Having a boss that likes closed-door meetings is a sign of distrust in the workplace. Keep away from situations where you have no witnesses because sociopaths are prone to afflicting aggression, emotional abuse, and bullying.

7. Learn To Cope With Stress

Aside from work-related pressures, you are more prone to verbal harassment when you work with a sociopath boss. It’s normal to commit errors, but to be continuously scolded for a mistake is abusive behavior. Whether it’s hanging out with friends, exercising at the gym, or engaging in outdoor activities, it’s crucial to have an effective coping mechanism to stay sane.

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8. Face Criticism With Resilience

The sociopath boss believes they’re excellent and therefore imposes a higher standard than most. They criticize harshly and embrace adversity, which means they don’t avoid chaos; instead, they invite it. Whenever this happens, it’s essential to keep a cool head and not let negative comments hurt you personally. Remember that how the boss responds to a situation says more about them than it does about you.

9. Trust The Idea, Not The Person

Some bosses are indeed intelligent, and they are excellent assets to the company because of their ideas. However, it’s dangerous to tie the initiative to a person without considering the contribution of other team members. Sociopaths tend to exaggerate their achievements to amplify their egos, so stick to the facts and ignore the comments.

10. Leave When You Are Ready

It’s rare for the sociopath boss to step down for reasons where they do not benefit. The only way to bring down a sociopath on top is to rise above them, even when it means moving to another team or company, so you no longer need to deal with them.

Some of these tips may sound challenging because working for a sociopath boss can be exhausting. You will be prone to experiencing anxiety, fatigue, and complicated feelings because of outrageous demands. When you feel that it’s no longer within your control, try to seek help from the company’s human resources officer or a trusted workplace counselor. Whichever way you decide to cope, always choose what’s healthy for you.

 

Sociopaths Under Pandemic Quarantine

We all know that sociopaths thrive in grey areas where they look for every opportunity to create drama in life. They are the ones who love to engage in conflicts without feeling guilty at all—these people’s incapacity to love and understand harms other individuals’ emotional and mental state. But with sociopaths’ shallow emotions, how do you think they handle the pandemic situation now that they are in quarantine?

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They Do Not Care At All

One thing that makes sociopaths different from others is their irresponsible behavior. These people disregard social obligations even if the circumstances require them to act on a particular moment. That is because they think highly of themselves. Therefore, ignoring responsibilities and blaming others is what they usually do. They see hostility everywhere, and that makes them unaware of caring. Their sense of self-love makes them think that people are suffering because they deserve it. They want nothing to do with people’s situation, but they want others to feel sorry and responsible for their emotional entanglement.

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They Mess With People Through The Internet

Like most everyone, sociopaths also thank the internet for allowing them to gain other resources. Utilizing the web gives them additional power to manipulate other individuals, especially now in people’s weakest and darkest moments. And since social media easily carry the validation they want to achieve, they use their access to excuse themselves for the self-serving behavior they do. They misinterpret people’s distant action, so it drives sociopaths to seek for an opportunity to hurt them without any reasons. Sociopaths are pathological liars, so if there is one thing that can make them get away with it, that is the anonymity of the internet’s social media platforms.

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They Love The Spring-Break Idea Of The Pandemic

Yes, sociopaths see an opportunity in this pandemic situation. Though that may sound positively encouraging, the results they do is different. Instead of trying to figure out how they can help the community, sociopaths see this global crisis as an opening for creative stimulation. They are enjoying the situation as they see others suffer from it. Since the situation is already hard enough for others, they spur at the moment to drive other people emotionally and psychologically unstable. That instead of trying to help, they tend to blame others for the unfortunate circumstances.

They Add Panic To The Situation

Sociopaths love to create chaos. And now that the opportunity of getting one is at hand, they use the situation’s uncertainty to add panic. Due to boredom and emotional stress of the quarantine, sociopaths engage in putting up the bait to throw at other people. They want to destroy other people’s calmness. They see the pandemic situation as a prospect of making other people’s lives miserable because they love the terrified reactions they witness from people. They feel a great sense of pleasure, knowing that others are taking the situation very poorly. Sociopaths love it when they know others can’t handle the situation as they do.

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They Handle It The Best Way They Do

Since the focus and pressure of the situation are at the hands of every individual’s mental and emotional state, it gives sociopaths an idea. It allows them to manipulate and control others by confusing their emotions. Sociopaths also feel stressed with the situation, but they manage to remove it from themselves and pass it on to other people. They don’t want to suffer emotional and mental stress, so they want others to have ten times more of what they are experiencing. These people are dedicated to making someone else’s life miserable because that is their best way to survive and handle the pandemic crisis.

Common Myths About Sociopaths, Debunked

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The 2019 Sociopathology Conference discussed some behaviors that are present in sociopathic individuals. There are already studies about sociopathy, yet a lot of people still do not understand this condition, especially since the media tend to exaggerate and misinterpret it.

So, let’s educate ourselves and learn the truth about sociopathy. Here are common myths about sociopaths debunked.

Sociopaths Are Psychopaths

This statement is the most common misconception about sociopaths. People believe that psychopathy is an extreme form of sociopathy. It is not.

The main difference between these two is awareness. Psychopaths are insensitive and have no remorse; thus, they are violent, and they do not know it. On the other hand, sociopaths are entirely aware of the social norms; they just do not care about it.

Sociopathy Is Untreatable

Sociopathy is not curable; however, it is treatable. Therapy and medication can help improve the symptoms of sociopathy. Aggression-reducing drugs and mood stabilizers will help sociopaths have better control of themselves. Cognitive, behavioral, group, or family therapies will also be useful. Furthermore, early detection of sociopathic traits in children can help prevent it from further development.

Sociopathy Is Unpreventable

Sociopathic tendencies present themselves as early as childhood. A child’s extreme antisocial behavior can be a sign. However, contrary to popular belief, it is preventable. Through early detection and intervention, sociopathy in children can be prevented from developing further. It is crucial, however, that the parents monitor their child and model proper behavior to make prevention effective.

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Sociopathy Is An Excuse For Bad Behavior

Sociopaths may use their condition to justify their poor behavior; do not give in to that. As mentioned above, these individuals are entirely aware of what they are doing and why it is wrong; they just do not care about the rules.

Common behavior patterns of sociopaths include impulsivity, aggression, and recklessness, among others. There is a high chance that sociopaths will end up breaking the law. However, take note that not all criminals are sociopaths.

Although sociopaths may present violent behaviors, it is not always the case. So, if you have a loved one or if you ever meet someone who is a diagnosed sociopath, try to greet them with understanding instead of judgment. Doing so may not fix their behavior, but it can encourage them to seek help for it.

Love Is A Game That Sociopaths Want To Play

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Not everyone who’s charming and affable is a sociopath. However, if you notice that you’re being messed with, gas-lighted, and manipulated by your exceedingly alluring special someone, it is most likely that you are the victim of his or her sociopathic mind games.

By recognizing how a sociopath thinks and works, it is easier for you to identify the games that they love to play within a relationship.

The Face Of A Sociopath

Though certain qualities are similar to psychopaths, sociopaths are less polished and less savvy making it apparent for other people to identify if they’re dealing with one. By letting you experience the proverbial ringer, sociopaths are adept at manipulating people around them that even the way you dress can be influenced.

The Ruse

To get their way in a relationship, sociopaths tend to do mind games. What are the usual signs that you need to watch out for so as not to get sucked into an unhealthy relationship that can ruin you as a person?

  1. You Are Always To Blame
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Despite the reality that you did nothing wrong, you still get blamed for every single wrong thing that happened in your relationship. For example, even if your partner made a mistake, he or she will turn things around by saying that it’s initially your fault for overreacting or for not being understanding of the situation. Sociopaths tend to innocently demonize their targets by characterizing them as the inadvertent instigator of creating discord in dynamics.

  1. You Become The Crazy One

Whenever you air out something to your partner, are you often told that you’re too paranoid or you’re just being crazy for thinking as such? If in every argument you are always on the losing side, this is a sign that your sociopath partner is gas-lighting which is a typical tactic that a lot of sociopaths utilize on their victims. Gaslighting happens when a person uses your words against you to the point of endlessly defending yourself for saying those things. Sociopaths are aiming to invalidate you which results in you questioning your rational thinking and sanity.

  1. Sincerity Is Too Good To Be True

One of the captivating yet tricky things about sociopaths is their ability to appear sincere even if their words are mostly built on lies. Their capacity to create stories convincingly is due to their sophisticated approach that can turn into manipulation. For sociopaths, love is merely a game of seduction and lying. Over time, if you ever caught them red-handed, sociopaths will never show any signs of remorse because their moral compass is askew. “Those who are sociopathic,” said Jor-El Caraballo, LMHC “Most often characterized by low empathy and a general “pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others.”

  1. Your Head’s A Mess

Sociopaths love to mess with people’s minds; they may hurt you and cause you insurmountable amounts of pain for the sake of enjoyment and the thought that you will be turning to him or her for comfort. For example, your partner might provoke or convince you into speaking up to your friend and be direct about a particular issue. But then your friend becomes offended, and your partner will be there waiting to act sympathetic when in fact, your partner is just playing with your feelings and manipulating you by thinking how awful that friend was for not understanding. That’s how sneaky sociopaths are.

  1. Flattery Is Their Weapon

Endless flattery is a technique sociopaths use to win you over; this usually happens by uttering compliments now and then. However, these flattering remarks would feel a bit off because they are more likely to come out as completely and utterly fake. When the flattery is way over the top, know that your partner’s sociopathic mind is in play. Compliments can brighten anyone’s day but if it’s too much to the point of being unbelievable, start being suspicious. According to Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC in her online article titled ‘Do You Work with a Sociopath?’ sociopaths “Choose to intermingle, they present as charming, intelligent, balanced, sexy, and yet seemingly harmless. But this is a front.”

Know When You’re Losing

Through the use of manipulation and charm that sociopaths have perfected, they can quickly get away with what they want. For people who are unaware that sociopaths exist, they will first feel charmed, but as the relationship progresses, they’ll have this foreboding, scary, or confused feeling that they are being sabotaged into something they initially thought was a show of affection.

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Sociopaths love the power play. There is always this effort of wanting to control you to the point of dishing out a couple of threats like suicide. But these are usually empty threats and are merely a way to make you agree with what your partner says. Don’t let your sociopath partner get the best of you. As much as possible, if you ever experienced the signs listed above, leave and don’t look back. It’s the best way to save yourself from being ruined entirely. As Noah Rubinstein, LMFT, LMHC, said “it’s clear that sociopaths are quite capable of evil.”