Just when you thought the movies have redefined how a sociopath is, the reality is most probably far from the delineation portrayed in fiction. One thing is for sure: what they show in the movies and on TV is not what it seems.
To Date or Not to Date
Unbeknownst to a naïve, love-struck person, she is already dating a sociopath. With a sociopath’s charm and ability to manipulate people, it’s become a natural endeavor for sociopaths to make the other person believe that they mean something to them. However, in retrospect, sociopaths can show love if it benefits them one way or another. According to Bill Eddy LCSW, JD, “A sociopath will often switch back and forth between extreme charm and extreme threats to get what they want, depending on what they see is or isn’t working at the time.”
Sociopaths are people who expertly conceal their true nature in plain sight and are the ones who behind a mask of sheer deception.
Love But Not Really
Sociopaths appear that they love genuinely, enigmatically, voraciously. But that’s what they want you to think; it’s their strategy. Deep within, there lies the crafting of relationship and emotions to show the other person that she matters. To go beyond societal expectations about love and affection is a sociopath’s way of shaping the world of their target.
Love, though seen and felt by the partner, is fabricated masterfully by a sociopath, making everything a façade. Once he gets away with his sneaky tricks and careful maneuvering, he’ll eventually show his true nature. Sociopaths are selfish; the moment they have exhausted their partners for whatever beneficial purpose, they’ll abruptly leave regardless of how much affection their partners have already invested in their relationship. According to Kathleen Smith, PhD, LPC, “Sociopaths may con people to get what they want such as to get the partner’s constant affection.”
Control with Convenience
For sociopaths, relationships are mere outlets to gain control over someone. Personal gain ranges from money, pleasure, and power. Everything about the relationship is self-serving. How does a sociopath organize his devious scheme?
Phase 1 –Assessment
Like a predator to prey, he does his deductions and calculations before pursuing someone that he finds interesting in a way that would fulfill whatever he needs.
Phase 2 –Control
Here comes the manipulation part. The moment the prey falls into the predator’s trap, he establishes the game of false emotional involvement that the victim will mistakenly interpret as love. Whatever romantic or intimate connection the psychopath shows at this point is all to meet his needs and goals. “Sociopaths often use threats to keep you in their control, such as threats of suicide or saying ‘you’ll be sorry’ for your behavior.” according to Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW.
Phase 3 –Desertion
As the fraudulent relationship progresses, the prey will then notice sudden changes in the way the predator behaves. While the partner may just see this as a phase of temporary disarray, for sociopaths, this is the time when they’re evaluating, once and for all, if staying with the person is still beneficial. The minute the relationship maxed out its profits, it’s out the door for the sociopath and on to his next victim.
Involvement With a Sociopath
Sociopaths will never recognize the harm they’ve done to another person. Why would they since they’ve never felt the love in the first place?The feeling is a foreign concept to them. It’s all just a game of cat and mouse. And once you fall into his trap, the game’s over for you.
Save yourself and distinguish these relevant facts about dating a psychopath.
- Devotion is not equivalent to genuine emotion. It’s just trivial charisma and pure control.
- Dating a sociopath is a power struggle.
- Insincerity is the name of the game.
- Intimidation and violence evolve within the relationship.
- Lying is a strategy.
So if you think that there might be the slightest chance of sociopaths changing their ways, apparently, you were not listening. Sociopaths get satisfaction in the way they take advantage of their partners. The best thing to do is get out and stay out!