The peace in our family was disturbed when my middle sister called me one afternoon. Crying, she told me that a guy named Mark was about to get married. I only knew him as her suitor that she never entertained because he was already living with his original girlfriend. So, when I asked my sister, “So what?” I got the shock of my life as she said, “I might be pregnant with him.”
Just what did I hear?! My sister, who we trusted to know not to entertain such a man, was doing what we begged her not to do. Worse, their affair had been going on for four years straight already, and they had been trying to have a baby in the last six months. But she would never have bothered to tell us about it if the guy did not block her calls and texts and left her alone.
In reality, when I heard what happened for the first time, I got so mad at the guy that I wanted to curse him down to hell. My sister made it sound like she got cheated on, that she was not aware that he was a two-timing fool. Even my dad wanted to let loose and confront the guy with his fists for what he did to his daughter. However, my sister begged him not to do that. Instead, she said she wanted to get mental help because it left her thinking of ending her life.
Of course, when your child or kid tells you something like that, you have no time to think things through – you just do it. I even went out to accompany my sister to the mental hospital where the only psychiatrist could be found in our state. Upon the initial diagnosis, it was revealed that she had dependence issues. I thought it made sense because she felt like she couldn’t live without that guy in her life.
But I started to get suspicious when my sister said she argued with the doctor and tried to reduce her resting period from two months to a month. Then, during her multiple trips to the psychiatrist’s office after that, she kept on asking the mental health professional to change her diagnosis or treatment from depression to mild anxiety to minor depression. It did not help that we caught her trying to chat up the same guy even after discovering that he already got hitched. I thought, “Hmm, that’s not normal anymore.”
The more I researched her symptoms, the more it became apparent that my sister could be a sociopath. Here are signs that led me to this hunch.
Ability To Change Emotions Based On What Others Want To See
The most noticeable thing about my sister was how quickly she could switch her emotions depending on who talked to her. She’s quick in switching emotions, and it made me wonder if my sister might be a sociopath.
For example, when my father found the guy’s number still saved on her phone, he started berating her because of it for hours. The entire time, my sister was not answering him; she was merely looking down with a dark expression on her face. But when my aunt suddenly called through FaceTime, her face lit up and sounded so cheerful, as if nothing ever happened.
The same scenario took place several times throughout her stay at home, thus solidifying my hunch that my sister could be a sociopath.
Sociopathic Compulsive Lying
It took some time for us to realize that my sibling, who was also my best friend, was a compulsive liar. She often loves to manipulate people. My parents primarily used to believe every word she said, thinking that she was dependable and wise. Despite that, we all found out about it when we confronted her about the text messages that we caught her exchanging with the guy.
With the phone in mom’s hands, she asked, “Have you been texting your ex?”
Feigning anger, my sibling replied, “What the heck are you talking about? It’s over between us; he’s already married.”
“Liar! Your conversations are all here!” my mother/mom said, showing the phone.
Although shocked, my sibling still uttered, “He texted me first.”
And the list of lies went on until the guy contacted my parents himself and begged them to make my sister stop bothering him and his wife.
Inability To Listen To Reason
When crap finally hit the fan, all the texts came out. It showed how my sister resented my parents for forbidding her from seeing the man of her dreams. Then, they even had plans to move to Australia, where the guy’s wife could not reach them anymore.
When dad talked to the guy and learned that my sister was forcing herself on him, claiming that she would end her life if he didn’t contact her, she relayed it all to my sister. However, she didn’t seem ashamed at all. Her face merely hardened and said, “That’s not what he told me. He said he loved me and that we would have a family together.” I doubt she was focused on building a family.
No matter how much we tried to make her see reason, my sister didn’t budge at all. Worse, she proceeded to email the guy behind our backs and blackmailed him with their private videos. It’s like she was used to making people caught off guard.
Final Thoughts
That was the last straw for my parents. They brought her to a psychiatrist in a different city to figure out what’s wrong with her. After some appointments, we found out that she indeed has sociopathic tendencies.
It would still take a while before we could say that my sister fully recovered, but we’re optimistic that she would eventually find the right support, love, and guidance. So if you’re dealing with the same issue with your healthy relationships, always note that personality traits somehow count. There’s always a moral responsibility that you think doesn’t matter, but it does.
FAQs
What Are The Requirements For Having Personality Disorder?
You have heard of the words sociopath and psychopath, but there’s a term that professionals use for those people. In general, doctors don’t diagnose someone as a sociopath or psychopath, they use a different term which is Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD). In the book, DSMV-V, which is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Illnesses, there is a criteria wherein you can tell if someone falls under ASPD, still you shouldn’t guess someone’s disorder on your own. Apparently, there are signs that can tell if the person is a sociopath, it includes lack of social empathy to others, impulsive behavior, lying for personal gain, and more. After reading the signs, you may think that your mother, father, child or children, boyfriend, husband, brother, or sister is a sociopath, but be aware that self-diagnosing people is bad.
Can sociopaths be cured?
ASPD may manifest in an early age such as 8 years old, during that time the diagnosis falls under conduct disorder while it converts to ASPD at age 18 if the antisocial behaviors of the only person persists. So, two kids who have conduct disorder in school or at home may have a different path once they grow up. The only people or kids who have antisocial behavior can be diagnosed with ASPD. There is no cure with ASPD, people usually manage their condition for their entire life.
Can sociopaths be depressed?
What is the psychological treatment for sociopaths?
Can sociopaths change over time?
Yes, studies suggests that through therapy, sociopaths can change over time. But in the same way as other chronic illnesses, if not monitored, someone with ASPD may relapse to their previous behaviors after a few months. There are sociopaths who are high functioning and highly intelligent who can still function from a daily basis. It is also worth knowing that sociopaths are just like anyone that is capable of change. They are just victims and and hurt by their own struggles. Their behavior from years ago can be change once they decided to head and seek proper treatment.
Can a sociopath change with age?
Can a sociopath get nervous?
What is the hardest mental illness to live with?
How do psychopaths feel about death?
Can psychopaths control their emotions?
There is misconception that psychopaths cannot control their emotions, but in fact they still can.
Can psychopaths be in control?
Who is the most famous case of acquired sociopathy?
What are the requirements for a sociopath?
Can sociopaths be cured?
Can sociopaths be depressed?
What is a sociopath’s weakness?
Can a sociopath feel trauma?
Can you recover from sociopath?
What is the psychological treatment for sociopaths?